very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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