I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
