Whod you bang
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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