I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
