i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
