When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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