When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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