i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize