I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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