the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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