I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
