I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize