I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
