I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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