What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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