I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
