Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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