As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
