Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize