apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
