You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
