What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
