Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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