either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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