He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
