It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
