I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Randomize
