I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
