Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
