I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
