He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
