Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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