I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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