She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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