fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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