Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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