I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
