She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
