i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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