I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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