I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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