i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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