This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
