yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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