i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize