The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Ladies don't puke and tell
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
