I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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