i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
