i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize