Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
