i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
