apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
