It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
