Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
