"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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