Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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