Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
