I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
