I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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