please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
