its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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