She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
