Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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