just tell him i said nine months
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
