You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I see more hoeing in ur future
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
