Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
this beer tastes like vomit already
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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