Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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