My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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